the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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