So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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