so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
