I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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