If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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