Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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