Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
