I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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