They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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