Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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