I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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