Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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