...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
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So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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