I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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