Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I need to calm my uterus...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
