I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
