Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
