You just made me feel so damn special
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize