It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
