I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
