Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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