she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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