I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
