You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
