The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
