Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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