areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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