So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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