Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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