Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
