you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
