So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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