i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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