Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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