I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize