i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
