my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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