So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm getting married
To pizza
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
