your thong is hanging out like whoa
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
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We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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