When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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