She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
