id be glad to
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
birth control should be required to get into college
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So squirting runs in the family.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
