If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
