sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
