Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
