remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
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You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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