Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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