This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
