You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
