All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
