i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
