You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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