Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I enjoy the company of your penis
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
