you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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