Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
