I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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