You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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