i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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