I wish I could teleport
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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