Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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