It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
