I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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