Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
