is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
