No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
