Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
